Then Sings My Soul |Worship #5|

Updated: Feb 24

Just when I think I can do it, I fall even harder.😟. I just wasted hours off my life doing so many crappy things. The void. I have felt the wrath of my Lord.. A magnitude of gravity that crushes my very soul. A hollowness that nothing can fill. Maybe that's what fear off the Lord? It's scary.😱.

Yet in my ineptitude and searching, the Lord is good always. He reminds in seemingly simple yet overlooked ways. From reading through Ezekiel I was reminded off His glory, and even in Job's struggles, God's glory is fully displayed:

Then Job answered the LORD and said: "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 'Who is this that hides counsel with knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 'Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.' I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes." Job 42:1-6 🌍🌟😔

Why reflect on Job's repentance? Because just like Job who went through a violent spiritual war, my soul rages in conflict...

Oh Lord. It's hard. This life it's so hard. Starting all these projects. Doing something upstream. It hurts so much. I am alone fighting. Yet Lord You remind me through Jesus to take my yoke upon You. I will do that. My struggles, my anxieties, all my weakness is much. I am breaking Lord. I keep failing it hurts... Lord, please take my burden and help me. Please...

Yet why didn't God answer directly Job's existential concerns in the previous chapters? Because He didn't need to. What Job needed was too see what is truly happening. Just like Job, I didn't need to have all my hardships answered. Yet I only needed to see His glory once more just like I did. To know that He hears. To be assured once more in Christ. And the Lord did. In His grace, my eyes sees Him today. My ears hear off His majesty. When Job writes "I had heard of you"— it literally means that. I have heard off this song countless off times. Yet why does it now invoke my heart ever so? Why does the words feel so alive? 😌

"Then Sings My Soul"

written by Stuart K.Hine/ Mary McDonald

performed by Gloria Dei Cantores

O Lord, my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made,

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy pow'r thro'out the universe displayed

When thro' the woods and forest glades I wander,

and hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,

when I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,

and hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee:

how great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee,

how great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation,

and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,

and there proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Full lyrics can be found here

In the Bible, Elijah in fear off Jezebel began to run away in fear off being killed:

But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 1 Kings 19:4 🏃😔

You would be surprised that the Lord's prophet would say this..😵. Yet, the Lord understands us more than we know. He sent His angel not once but twice to supply Elijah food. In Elijah's downtrodden and depressive state, he lost all hope and strength... Isn't it the same as us? As my fears overwhelm me, my spirit becomes more deflated. Eventually I gave up hope.😰. Thinking off suicidal thoughts.😖. Yet in those desperate time, the Lord's hand swept me out just like it did for Elijah:

And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 1 Kings 19:12 🤫💨

I have always thought that God needs to perform a grand miracle for a 'sign'. Yet more often than not, He speaks in the lowest of whispers. As a fleeting wind that comes and goes. Everyday signs that we often overlook... miracles that always were miracles, yet in our blinded state seems so farfetched and forgotten. Or in my case, this whisper came from the song "Then Sings My Soul"...

Oh Lord, thank You for Your low whispers in my life...

As I reflect on this song, I am reminded once more

How glorious art Thou my God, all the heavens and universe proclaim of Your majesty!

As I wander through my life, thank You for giving me ears to hear the birds singing sweetly,

to enjoy and feel the gentle breeze off Your blessings once more

My soul sings...! In humble adoration, in a broken and contrite spirit that by Your grace can't help but be amazed by it all

Father, I long for the day that Christ shall come, that divine moment where all knees and tongues shall speak off Your glory

Father, I long for the day to return to my home, awaiting that joy off my heart

Father, I long to bow down in humbleness off Your greatness..

Father, I have missed Your presence so much..

My heart aches and cries in joy for being able to sing once more...

"My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices"

Thank You for the lessons Father,... I realized my downfall came as I didn't come to Jesus and surrendered entirely. I tried to use my own strength too much. I played with the fire of temptations so much I was slipping and backsliding so much. Now I see and now I understand my folly. I am sorry Lord. I repent in dust and ashes...😞🥺

Most importantly thank You for teaching me to rely on Jesus more and more each day:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 🐂⚖️⭐

😭😭😭 I needed this long long long cry Lord. This breaking point. Where I am reduced to ashes. I have finally surrendered. And tears a flowing gushing out. I am crying now. So very much.😭. Because this is it. Lord where are Thou? My soul cries in a loud exclamation! Yet as I see now, You were always here Lord. Thank You. In my darkness🌙, You have pulled me out once more. How glorious is Your grace🕊️, my heart overflows in gratefulness.🤲. I am humbled, joyous in my afflictions. Now I finally understood why Paul said:

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 2 Corinthians 12:7 🌵🥀📖

These thorns. They remind me Father, how I need You in every step... Thank You for all my shortcomings... For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with [my] weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Reflection

Then sings my soul my Savior God to Thee....

How great Thou art

Dear Lord, thank You. You are very unpredictable and dynamic. And thank goodness You are God and I'm not. You're timings are impeccable. The way You orchestrate the whole universe is amazing. Unfathomable. Thank You for hearing Elijah's cries and loving him despite his shortcomings. Thank You for revealing Yourself in the lowest off whispers. Thank You for giving me undeserved grace so many times... Thank You for this song.🙏. For Job's testimony. I have heard the same song multiple times before. Yet why does it resonate so intensely inside me now? I have uttered what I did not understand, I have done sins I dare not say. My heart has turned and I have blasphemed Your name. Father. Forgive me.. I am broken.💔. Please renew my contrite spirit and give me hope once more. This time of lamenting was much needed. And in this passing season, I realize that I need You Father more than ever. Give me courage once more. I am fearful of stepping out. Yet I am reminded again and again and again. How great Thou art.👑. My Redeemer, my Lord, my Savior, my Father, my best friend, my rock, my portion.. Thank You Jesus for this resting place I have in You. Sorry for always failing You and disappointing You. Please don't give up on me and towards us. We all need You so desperately. In Your mercy, don't forget us please Lord.... In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Thy power throughout the universe display

How great Thou art.....

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,