Already But Not Yet |Blog #4|

Updated: Apr 8, 2021

Another week has passed.

Another fleeting moment.

Happening in an instant blink off an eye.

This week, I am so grateful that He has led me to continue to keep up with pesanpesan.co, continue to do my morning devotions, to clean up the house, to starting to clear up my financials. And yet at the back of my mind, there is this crawling whisper. That I'm not doing enough. That I've wasted so much time. And yes it's true! I've also spent hours mindlessly web crawling for useless information, binged watched my anime(s), looked at things that I shouldn't have, not being faithful in my commitments and disappointing God in a lot of ways. God, please forgive me. It's easy to talk, but executing is so hard sometimes. Sigh... Anyways. This week's post is about "already but not yet". It's a common platitude that my local Church has espoused time after time. But what does it truly mean?

Recently Tim Keller's sermon referenced too a quote by Sydney Pollack:

Shortly before film director Sydney Pollack died in 2008, an article about him explained that as he was sick and dying, he couldn’t stop working. Even when his family begged him to stop because it was shortening his life, he refused. The article said, “Pollack says that although the grueling film movie making process is wearing him down, he can’t justify his existence if he stops. And he said, ‘Every time I finish another picture, I feel I have earned my stay for another year or so.’”

Keller alluded the idea that despite of Pollack's successes and reputation, his life stemmed off the validation of others. Pollack needed to "earn" his stay achieving in creating more and more work.. That raises the question, where do Christians get our validation from? 🤔.

A Christian is not a status or religion that's written in our biodata. It is a conscious personal decision to accept and follow Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. For me personally, I feel truly validated or 'self-actualized' when I can please my Lord and having a relationship with Him. That life isn't just 'finishing another picture' as Pollack thought. As Christians we believe in the concept of grace. That Jesus finished it all on The Cross. Hence to be forgiven and receive eternal life is not a matter of work. It is about having Jesus to save us because it is nigh impossible to do so ourselves.

As a Christian living a life after grace; I still fall into sin. I still disappoint Him:

Today, my spiritual level is crappy. I've done a sin that I promised God I wouldn't do... I thought off the first thing to do is to hide. To run away, to avoid God. Like Adam in the book of Genesis, I just didn't feel right with God. For I have sinned. Embarrassed. In that moment, I prayed:

Lord. I am unworthy. Today's sin reminded me that. Lord. Please redeem me again. Justify me by Faith, and please forgive me. I keep doing the same crap I said I wouldn't. I know that logically I am forgiven. But my feeling can't make sense of this all.

already

Despite the looming negative thoughts, today I feel better. Thank goodness that our lives are segmented into 24 hour days. Another opportunity to be reminded that the Lord is working in my life. Day by day. He knows me better than myself. He doesn't want me to allow or agree with sin, but not to the point of doubting or condemning myself. As Paul starts in Romans:

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2 🚫😔🚫

The tragedy is that I forget as Christ has saved me way back then. He knows who I was, who I am, and even who I am going to be. Does He not know the sins I am going to do? Does He really not consider EVERYTHING when making the decision to save me? Likewise, I forget that I am saved. There is no condemnation. I am free from the law of sin and death through Christ. So don't listen to those negative thoughts that I 'am not good enough', or that I 'can't return to God', that my 'life is meaningless'. It's true. That apart from Christ, life is utterly vain. Yet in Christ I find life to be so much more.

In Christ, I am adopted. That I am now His elect, and His children:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:15-17 😇🕊

This ties in the concept of already. We are saved from a life of sin. That sin has no dominion or power over us. That we shouldn't fall back in fear or doubt. That I feel safe and validated because I am already saved. Not condemned, and elected as His child... 🤗

but not yet

So what's next? After already saved, should we just wait until we die? I used too think so. Yet we still have a choice to make. As Paul writes "provided we suffer" that we may also be glorified with Him. The keyword here is "may", that it may occur. That us being glorified is not done yet—Do we choose to suffer with Him? As Jesus suffered, shouldn't we too bear our own cross daily?

The process of 'may' occur and ties in the concept but not yet. We are yet to be ready. Before we meet again with Christ we will be sanctified:

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. Romans 8:29-30 ⭐🌟✨

The concept of 'predestined' or predestination is a paradox. That despite having to make a conscious decision off following Christ, to suffer with Him and to bear our own cross, the reality is that the Lord's predestination also comes into play. It will come. Predestined means "foreordained or determined beforehand". That one day,... we believe He will fulfill all His covenantal promises.🙂.

Just as in my life, everything led up to me being called. I tried to reject Christ, but His calling just overwhelmed me. And I am so grateful. Now, in my life, I need to remind myself that I am justified. That justified by faith, I am given (metaphorically speaking) a clean start, an invisible veil that the Lord bestowed me to be in His presence. As Tim Keller paraphrased what Marcus Loan once said:

"To speak forgiveness is to say you may go, you have been let off from your penalty. To say justification is to say you may come. You are welcomed to all my love and presence."

How great off a picture is this! To know that we are able to be in His presence and too experience a full relationship in Christ.

..I would like to end this section by referencing a previous journal entry. Sometimes during moments of hardships, I forget too see a "birds-eye" view or seeing things from afar. When we are hurting and in darkness, it seems all is lost. Yet as Paul writes, that we are predestined to be glorified in Christ:

I started to binge watch yesterday, going over the Avengers series, and trying to keep myself distracted. I just didn't "feel" anything the last two days reading the Bible... Maybe that's the toil of sin? It robs us, it blemishes our very soul and the relationship we have with Christ. Yet, today I was reminded once more... If I made a mistake, shouldn't I ask mercy from the Lord? Why do I feel entitled thinking that if I ask for forgiveness it will be given automatically? Why do I demand that my relationship be restored with Christ?

Looking back now, I realize how foolish it must seem. That we are so anxious and downtrodden in moments off darkness. What seemingly was everything at that time is but a speck in the history... What I learned from the last few days is how in my moments off strife I need to return to His Word. Come to Jesus, Hear His Word and Do His Will again. As Paul encourages us:

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:18-25 😌⏳🕊

Reflection

Dear Lord, thank You for the sufferings of this present time. It hurts and confusing as to why I keep failing You. And yet, in the end I am grateful to have witnessed Your amazing Kingdom at work. Thank You for reminding me today— I am already saved. I am no longer condemned. I am elected as children of God. Yet paradoxically, help me to make a conscious decision daily to suffer with You and to bear my cross. To hold onto Your covenantal promise, that my predestination is not yet complete. That as I am called, I am justified, and I will one day be glorified when my life ends or off Jesus Christ' second coming. Help me today now to hope eagerly off that time. Off the future glory that is to be revealed... 🎺🤗🤲.

To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us. Psalm 123: 1-2 🙌

Lift up my eyes, I plead O Lord... as Your servant comes in humility, please have mercy on me. Days of failures reminds me how vulnerable I am to sin. Days of redemption reminds me off Your precious grace that I need daily. Please have mercy on me. And give me the strength to push on. To try again and hope in You...

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6 ☀️

When You seem far, or when I have days off drought. Please don't forget me O Lord. Please give me the patience to be faithful. To wait. My soul in longing to wait in hope. More than the watchmen whose job is to seek the morning, help me to hope and wait for Your mercy. However long it takes... And in those moments, I will be glad and rejoice that everything I thought I can't do; I do. And that is all because of Your grace working inside off me.